ok this is my first blog...and its going to be full of hate and anger at boys!!! im sorry but i have had some bad days lol..the reason im writing these blogs is because i need a way of letting my anger and pain out!.
so lets start
i had a boyfrind who didn't speak to me didnt see me and couldn't be arsed to get off his butt to come talk to me!!! or even see me. what an amazing relationship hey!!!!!!!!!
i know!
so anyway i decided i need to break with him.. lets leave that there
ok so thers his mate ollie... he really liked my best mate! and i was there for him every second helping him to try get with her...and then get over her. all though i would do that to anyone..the reason i was so interested with it i think i had fallen for him. A BIG NO NO.
soo i think he started liking me he sent me text with just kisses in out of the blue.. he talked to me all the time....but everyone thought i liked ash.. and i did and i knew i couldnt make anymoves with ollie becasue of lora and everyone would be like why u with him!!! so i left it and we were just mates...i went out with ashley
ok
so problem 1:
i couldnt stop thinking of him! this is ollie!!! he would sign on msn and i would be like yes ollie....when ever i saw him i would smile for no reason!!!! and there wass something about him that i liked....
so i was with ashley and in love with someone else and dreading the relationship i was in,.. at times it was fine but he couldnt be arsed to make an effort soo i gave up!!!!
problem 2:
ollie starts texting my best mate jo i get super jelouse he doesnt no this i just tell him to be carefull and bad mouth her which i shouldnt and i feel so sorry because she is such a nice person!!!
so he then also texts this other girl...dont no who she is i get super super jelouse!!!! i feel like there is no hope for me anywhere in life!!
problem 3: last night.....i decided i need to finish with ashley! i get soo pissed but i dont mean to....dump ashley i cant even remeber what i said and i feel really bad becasue im a nice person and i dont do that!!!!
i then talk to ollie!!!! and i go did you ever like me....i think but could be wrong cause cant remeber much because i was pissed...he says i did i loved you....but he said i did..i DID!! did...did!!!
so then i cry to him about how much i like him doesnt believe me i get so upset!! okkkk
loras..my best mates thoughts on this: she though ollie was just flirting with me he does that he wiill play a girl then leave them,...but he didnt to her...is she jelouse that i like him/angry..or being truthfull.....
ok so she then says that night that he told her thattt me and him are just amtes....which is all my fault for sayin that....
like my old mate dan...i fancied him for ages and he was like were just mates....i mean were so close and now we are just mates but it hurt me...and i cant deal with it again not if ollie gets with a girl and im there ill be soo hurt!!!!!!!!!
anyway to wrap it up
ollie used to like me i ruiend it i look like a twat for cryin infront of him! i have probably scared him off ruined it for ever!!
lora says i should elave it...
but i cant stop thinking of him and its soo bad i cant do this!!!!!!!!
to top of my day!
the guy lora likes had a go at me nad i was not in the mood and he wouldnt stop...and now things bettween her and him are rocky!!!!
but hes so vvain and stuck up his own arse anyway....!!!!
i stil lget confused though he wont tell me how he feels.... when i asked what do you want to do...he went i dunno....then iw ent just friends then..and he went i dunno friends for now!
alsooo he keeps sayin mary you dont love me...is that him not believeing me, becasue he loves me...or he just wants me to leave him alone
maybe he wants to be single for summer..i mean i do to..i just wanna no i have him when i come back
anyway thats my life recently completly shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i cant stop cryin over this guy!!!
and i cant stop thinkin of him and i want him out of my head...now i would rahter leave it
becaue... if i cant be with him i would rather be best mates with him next to him and talking rahter than away and crying.
thanks if you read this just a way of venting anger and my upsetleave a comment if u have advise its needed!!! orrr if u have a simillar situation!!!